Breaking
by FallenSHIN0BI
Summary: One-shot. Sirius was dead, his life was broken and in pieces about him... He was tired of it all. (Lyrics from Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park.)


**One-shot story featuring Harry Potter. The lyrics are from _Breaking the Habit_ by Linkin Park. Read and Review, please! Sorry if it's sad.**

Narrative

_Lyrics_

* * *

"Have any of you guys seen Harry?" Albus asked worriedly. He had been here at the Order of the Phoenix HQ for a few good hours and no trace of his Golden Boy had yet surfaced.

Molly shook her head while Severus sneered, "He's in the library, moping like the spoilt brat he is. Moaning and crying about this or that or about Black or about any number of inane things. Ugh." He said with his nose in the air like this was a crime- a crime for a child that lost his godfather to be suffering.

Frankly Albus agreed.

_Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again_

"He hasn't done anything... Hasty, has he?" Molly's frown deepened, "Besides not eating enough? No he hasn't. He's just stayed up in the library."

Albus frowned. That was not normal, nor healthy behavior for a child. They needed social interaction. Still, at least he wasn't causing anymore trouble for Dumbledore's plans. That was the silver lining to this whole mess. It was unfortunate that it wouldn't stay that way.

_You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

Albus walked up to the door of the library and listened for a moment, hearing sobs within. He lightly knocked, only to receive no answer. Even the crying stopped. He cleared his throat, "Harry my boy, it's me. Can you open up so we can talk?"

It was quiet. "Later," the muffled reply floated out. Albus sighed. He'd wait till dinner then. He needed Harry to get this out of his system so he could prepare for the upcoming battles. He was key to Albus's plans, and he needed to be in the best of shape; physically and mentally.

If only he knew that was the very reason why Harry was avoiding him.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

Inside, Harry sobbed, tears wetting his clothes. He had tried to sleep, to escape from life, but those awful moments of Sirius falling into the veil, Voldemort reaching into his mind, screwing it up...

It wasn't worth it. None of it. He wasn't prepared to fight this war and it had gotten his last family killed.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream.  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean._

If only he had been ready, if only he had done more. But he and his friends, the DA... They had prepared! They had tried their best to be ready for the Dark Lord! But they hadn't been ready and no one had tried to help.

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. But then again, in this life, nothing was, was it?

_I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright.  
So I'm breaking the habit,_

So he planned on changing that, fixing it, stopping the misery...

_I'm breaking the habit_

Tonight.

_Tonight_

He hurriedly pulled himself off the floor, wand in his fist, tears streaming down his face. He checked the door, barely seeing it through his tears and sobs that shook his body.

_Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again_

He stopped as another memory hit him- a memory of a vision from Voldemort. It was mentally scarring, terrifying him, and then the memories swarmed him...

Sirius! If only he had done something... What if Ron, Hermione were next? They were always on adventures together. What if he couldn't save them?

_I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again_

He hated this. All of it. So fucking much.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

He rushed over to the desk, steeling himself, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. One fell on the parchment, but he didn't notice. He read it over quickly before the tears retook him.

He needed something to represent him after all. Because he certainly couldn't. He was done trying. He was done.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream.  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean._

He hurried over to that spot where he always sat, books and tears littered about him. The broken pieces of his life surrounding him.

It was time.

_I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one at faults  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends_

He think he heard someone call his name. He ignored it. It kept calling. But he was through.

He raised his wand up, quivering, up to his temple like he knew Muggles did. The last thing he saw before closing his eyes was Dumbledore and Snape standing there with shocked looks on their faces.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
To show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

"Avada Kedavra!"

**~Fin**


End file.
